If you can't move, dance.

Lionel|World
~ Tuesday, December 21 ~
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Hogwarts, hostales y el apartheid

Los hostales, que yo sepa, constan de varias novedades, cuyas bellezas siempre están escondidas entre el infinito olvido de cada planta y rincón. Supónte tú que dentro de una habitación caben catorce personas y cada uno tiene su propia cama, cultura, ritmo de respirar y profundidad de sueños…

Hay cosas de apreciar aquí: el flujo y influjo de personas constantemente arremolinándose desde cada punto del mundo; su vulnerabilidad que se deja ver; su deseo sexual hacia los que tienen al lado; y a veces en lo más recóndito de la coalescencia de dichos caminantes se encuentra la conexión. O sea, a veces al compartir nuestros relatos el uno al otro nos encontramos ante la escalofriante historia en sí, enfrentándonos junto al narrador contra los infiernos que se le rodean. Así es como me pasó a mí en algún sentido una noche inesperada.   

Un día importante que se celebra en los EE.UU. se llama el día de Acción de Gracias y por mi parte no suelo darle mucha importancia ya que siempre ha sido un desmadre decidir con quién iba a pasarlo. Se supone que cada quien tiene que agradecer la vida o lo que le apetezca, cenando bien con la familia y los amigos.

Aquel día lo pasé en un hostal. A pesar de no estar ni con familia ni compañía mía me sentía muy a gusto acurrucado al lado de la ventana leyendo Harry Potter y la Orden del Fénix de J.K. Rowling, mirando con reojo el vaho del aliento que se hacía visible debido al frío danzando fuera. Estaba ensimismado en la obra, a medida que la gente en los alrededores provocaba poca presencia y constituía nada más que susurros y sombras pasando delante de mí. En un instante aquella ingravidez se me hizo eterna y pensé que fuera capaz de saltar de la ventanilla y flotar hacia las orillas de mi ciudad.

Esa sensación se esfumó al palpar unos ojos húmedos acariciándome desde un rincón del amplio salón. Al parecer, la chica estaba tratando de averiguar el título del libro que me tenía enganchado. Cuando alcé la vista ella me miró esbozando una sonrisa a la vez que se me acercaba. Se sentó delante de mí y noté su aspecto. Tenía una castaña melena oscura que le ocultaba la parte superior de su rostro pero al pasar sus deditos por ella dejaba que se viese su caralisa y pura, pero dentro de la divina superficie se notaba una oscuridad que delataba su pasado sombrío. Incluso en la luz tenue se le notaba.  

Era de Sudáfrica. Nunca he conocido a nadie de allí. Tampoco podía distinguir su acento. Después de haberme contado lo fantástico que era su vida de hoy, viajando por el mundo y cantando ópera, también me contó de donde venía, de su vida anterior la que aún sigue siendo real para muchas personas. Además de la escopeta puesta debajo la cama, se trataba de la injusticia social en su parte del mundo entre las tonalidades de la piel, cuyos datos ya me los sabía antes pero cuando contemplé su cara y su manera de explicármelo me conmovió. No porque la chica que tenía la misma edad que yo estaba derramando lágrimas, sino porque me lo había contado con tanta normalidad, como si hubiese leído la parte por detrás de una botella de vino. «Este producto se ha cultivado utilizando las uvas más ricas del mundo.»

A lo largo de nuestra charla ella apretaba sus finos labios contra la botella de cerveza, ladeando la cabeza para conseguir leyendo el título de mi libro. «¿Alguna vez has leído Harry Potter?» Se negó con la cabeza. Sentí un impulso repentino de irme a África para comprobar como sería la vida, tal como la chica había experimentado. 

Nos despedimos y me puse a pensar en mi familia y en que hacían ellos en ese momento por el otro extremo de la Tierra.  

    


~ Sunday, March 7 ~
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Howling at the Moon/Six Tongues

Saturday night a friend of mine invited me to my first party in Spain. We met outside of a Häagen Dazs ice cream parlor which looked out to a large roundabout full of cars zipping through wet pavement and people cutting between trying best they could to avoid getting hit but still pacing slow enough to prove they were in control.

I entered the apartment flat with my friend and his roommate, carrying gifts of wine and beer to add to the festivities. I soon realized I wasn’t at a Spanish party but rather a party of people mostly from Europe: Belgium, Italy, France, Czech Republic, Germany, Mexico, and Spain. 

The lingua franca was spanish, so to that effect the majority of the people there were communicating in their second or third language. That in itself was fucking amazing.

Spent most of the evening talking to someone from France, sharing our stories for being in Spain. She was a student at the university studying international relations, preparing herself like many of us for the prospect of a career. I paid as much attention to her words as I did to how she formed them. Not that I was staring at her lips—I wasn’t. Maybe one glance. What I mean is that certain features of her mother tongue blended with her spanish—melodies, intonations, the music of her voice ebbing through the tiny kitchen as we put our mouthes to our cups of mojitos and inhaled. 

What else. Indie. Electronic french & spanish. Someone playing classical guitar in living room. Italians really do dress well. Belgium has 3 official languages, how cool is that? And lastly, watching spaniards trying to make mojitos for the first time under the guidance of a mexican equals laugh-out-loud funny.

Ciao,

Lionel


~ Friday, February 26 ~
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Any girl that’s given a shit about me knows what I’ve lived—even the shit I tell you, mate, I’m not at all too proud of.
— A traveller from Rotherham

~ Wednesday, February 24 ~
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¿Qué te importa en la vida?

I spoke with a local the other day about food, open/closed cultures and Barcelona. Somehow the topic of what matters came up and I learned that spaniards value relationships and events, in that order, above all else. I don’t know how much of that is true but it made me think of my last week in the states.


~ Monday, February 15 ~
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The Experiment

The intended audience as the writer will be the person I perceive myself to be. As such the approach to these ramblings in both form and content will alter according to how I see myself. I call this disparity between writings the experiment.

I occasionally wonder how limited my thoughts are because of language. Are there ideas unthought because of what I can say or can’t say? How about approaches to life I could never understand because of the tongues I speak. The fascinating people I could never share stories with because they can’t speak English or I can’t speak Chinese.

I don’t accept that failure.

I do accept other failures in life. I accept the fractures of my past: my parents, my relationships—how the first overlays the second. I see beauty in how I’ve guarded my sensibility to the world despite what I know through experience. It’s worth it. To live fully. There is no point in spending my life with someone or doing something unless I’m there completely. If I dance, I try dancing with my entire being. If I love. I love with all my heart.

__________

The catalyst for tumbling is two fold (is it called tumbling?—like twitter = tweeting, thus tumblr = tumbling?). On one side I want to document my thoughts as Spanish life unfolds. On the other side I want to provide access to close people from home to know how and what I’m thinking.

Why am I here? To take risks. Because it scares the shit out of me to separate myself from home. To open my mind to new cultures. To learn another romance language. To learn another latin dance. To help new people and be inspired by them, their attitude towards life, and their way of being. To eat paella. To run around, wild & electric, through the half-lit city streets.

My responses to reasons are often inadequate. I don’t need a reason to eat ice cream with a friend. I don’t need a reason to dance. I need passion.

I need amazing people to make it that much harder to leave. My Dad is amazing. I remember I started to feel something sharp when my Dad stood watching while I walked through the security check-point. As he became smaller and smaller in the distance I became more aware there was a hole being made somewhere inside of me. 

Goodbyes to friends in Davis entailed drinks & fro-yo. But lots more drinks. Thanks Rayna and Eric for the Tokyo Ice Teas and Chris for helping me get to the pub for a free shot. Thanks Steph for planning the night and for the cookies and thanks to Nick for allowing me to be ‘inappropriate’. Thanks Jess for the birthday lunch. Said some goodbyes in parking lots. Dom treated me to sushi on the last night. Amazing times.

My first goodbye went to Toni. I think me being a little mad at her for a particular arrangement combined with me not wanting to be mad at her made it difficult. I gave her something I hope she always keeps. I remember not saying goodbye to Christopher (11) and Lauren (8), and not saying what I really wanted to tell them. I wanted to tell them to be good. To take care of each other while I’m away. Instead I bit my lip and bid them goodnight. They’re like the siblings I never had. If you ask an only child what it was like growing up they may say it was boring. Just replace boring with lonely.

First day in Spain. This entailed cured meats, getting lost, and accepting that beer will be cheaper than Coca-Cola. Does that make me sad? Yes. I love coke, thanks to Argentina.

I’m fairly comfortable with the Spanish here in Granada. It’s nothing like when I first went to Buenos Aires. Everyone spoke twice as fast. Can we be more rushedandridiculouslyspeedy? However, I appreciate accents. I understand that every culture has their own way of being.

__________

I’ll end this tumbling here.

Ciao,

Lionel ;)